Do Not Mix Blendz in the Toilet-San Jose, CA

Blendz was a pretty good place to stop by for a smoothie, salad or sandwich with their fresh atmosphere, but was the bathroom leafy green?

Many places in downtown require you to ask for a key, Blendz was no different and I really hate it, so one point down on them already before I even go inside.


The inside was nice, white, bright green and purple paint, tacky fake flowers, a very dark brown table, vegetable pictures on the walls.  Only the plant and table were out of place, so not so bad in design.

It was also very clean.  Maybe this is the benefit for having to ask for a key, I'm not finding heroine spoons on the sink, so it may tick me off asking for a key, but there was one obvious benefit.

Everything was authentically nice, everything was full, there was the toilet brush staring at me, but all in all Blendz was a good place to go.

8.5/10

Attack of the "The Kraken"-Cardiff, CA

Visiting a bar bathroom can be risky business and The Kraken doesn't disappoint.

There was some character in the bathroom: including a urine like smell, layers of graffiti for a good time, piles of air fresheners, broken stalls and the wonderful cheap to clean red tile.

The mix of urine and Palms of Paradise air disks stacked on top of a narrow ledge above the sink made my nose twitch and itch. Just a suggestion, cleaning can also help with smell.

Of course the stall I was in was broken and I held the door.  Uncomfortable to say the least, I couldn't enjoy the games on my iPhone, but there was writing on the wall.

I loved how the writing on the stalls was dated and initialed like school yearbook blurbs.  These secret messages were for the regulars, a primitive message board still in use today.

I felt nasty going in to the barley maintained toilet hole and left wanting to take a shower.  I almost saw the germs crawling on the walls clinging to the toilet paper.  This was a place to piss, leave and drink some more drinks.

The only redeeming quality about this place was their awesome BBQ.  It was so good, but if you have to pee, better go across the street to the restaurant, better to risk the unknown at this point.

3/10 only because it wasn't a hold in a ground with poison ivy for toilet paper.

Big Basin Cafe-Saratoga, CA

I was chilling with my friend in downtown Saratoga, you know, where the richer than Los Gatos people live?  There was this little coffee shop and I really had to pee so I went in and my friend ordered a coffee.

It was a small bathroom; warm, well lit, nice air freshner smell and it featured calm colors.

Everything was also full, but the plunger was viiable, the toilet paper was on the toilet and there was some paper towles on the floor by the trashcan.


There was also a chair in front of the toilet just in case somebody wants to watch you go.  A little creepy for my taste, but I try not to judge.

It was an average clean bathroom, boring is ok I guess especially when it is a bathroom, because who wants ropes and pepto bismol pink?

Small but charming, 8/10 for me if you just need a clean place to pee.

Starbucks-Downtown San Jose, CA, Santa Clara and Third Street

Starbucks is a major company serving coffee literally to millions of people daily all over the world, but how do their bathrooms stand up to the masses of butts on their toilet seats?

 From this picture not bad.  There were a few scraps of toilet paper on the floor, but all together very clean and fully stocked.

I also liked the warm lighting in the bathroom.  It is so much better than the blaring florescent lights many restrooms have.  It just feels too sterile for my taste.  I don't feel any cleaner, but dirty and cold.

The temperature was very nice to the skin and I know it can be hard to keep a tiled room warm.

Design wise it was smart to keep the floors dark and the tile a nice warm yellow color to make the bathroom still feel welcoming, just like a cup of coffee.

The only peeves I had with the bathroom was the need for an access code.  I understand Downtown San Jose has an issue with people using the restrooms for drugs, but is a code going to stop me from heating up the heroin in a spoon?

Another issue was a lack of a purse hook. Again, I used the door handle to hold my purse above the smeared piss invisible to the naked eye.

For how many people who visit the restroom it was a pleasantly clean and a warm visit.

7.5/10

Togos, Downtown San Jose, CA

Togo's, a California staple since it first opened it's doors over forty years ago.  Cheap sandwiches, fresh bread, fast service and excellent quality, you can expect a decent bathroom visit here.

When I entered it was a little cold to the skin, but there was no chemical spell to behold and the bathroom was practically spotless, except for little bits of TP.

Everything was stocked and the music playing wasn't too bad, just a modern rock station to help pass the gas.  There were also historical pictures, news clippings to help keep you entertained if you forgot your phone and it beats reading the wash your hands sign over and over.

However, no purse hook, dusty fake plants and even though the place was well lit, it sterile white and grey made me feel like I was peeing in a cut for a medical exam.

Another issue was the toilet brush sitting right there in plain eye view, yuck, and the orange caution cone did not help, especially with the thoughts of my purse hitting the wet floor.

I hate asking for a key to pee, I feel like a small child when I have too.  I understand there were people who did drugs in your bathroom, but did I look like a heroine addict?

As for score a 6/10, it's clean, but the fact you have to ask for a key and look at the gross toilet brush did not help its measure in pleasure.

Tandoori Oven, Campbell, CA

 Tandoori Oven is one of my favorite Indian resturants mainly because they try to keep the food authentic, but have western fusions as well.  After a meal of rice, curry and some delicious nann it is preferable to visit the restroom to cleanse the pores from any spicy debris left.

I  entered to the smell of harsh chemicals reached my nostrils, immediately making me feel a little sick.  Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but trying to keep a bathroom clean with overpowering bleach smell is an extreme way to keep the toilet free of germs.

After recovering from the smell the bathroom has a nice decor and wasn't too dirty, only a few pieces of toilet paper.  The toilet was clean, the mirror clean, the garbage was a little full, but not overflowing and to the right there was a nice image of a painted butterfly to lighten the mood.  In fact there were nice designs all around the bathroom.
They could stand to replace the red tile, but it's a standard kitchen tile, easy to clean and cheap.

However, the toilet paper was rather low and no toilet seat covers to be found.  Far from a catastrophe, but maintaining a well stocked bathroom was essential to a high score. For a plus,
the soap was filled, the paper towels well stocked when washing up.

Another minus was how there was not any hooks or tables to put my purse down on.  I do not care how clean the floor looked, it was still covered in wet nasty germs waiting to cling onto my purse.  There also was not a changing table, sorry moms have to change the baby where dinner was served.

Overall an average experience: 6.5/10

The Public Bathroom Horror Story

The door creeks open to a mess of paper towels on the cold concrete floor, soap covered sinks and wads of toilet paper on the ceiling.  A damp left over gym sock smell reaches into your nostrils, burning your eyes into a watery blur and you walk over pushing open one of the brown stall doors with a screech.  A flickering florescent light clicks off for a second, leaving you alone with the cold stench wrapping around you, the light flicks back on and you see the remains of toilet paper on the rim with bits of leftover scrapings from the last visitor to this john.  Oozing water slicks the floor with dirt and blackened things trying to stick to your shoes.  Little yellow drops decorate the seat and the rim is dotted brown on the inside with a lingering sticky smell.

Doing duty is a dirty business at times and I know many of you have experienced a situation similar to the bathroom horror story above.  I do not like going into dirty bathrooms, no one does, and I thought it would be nice and funny, to write bathroom reviews for the johns I visit.  

Each bathroom will be rated on the following attributes:

Cleanliness

Paper Stock

Smell

Decor

Lighting

Temperature

and anything else relevant to the royal toilet experience.

Please just enjoy the fun and thank you for reading.

Joelle Driver